Erica was furious. She found out that one of her classmates had been saying mean things about her behind her back. Erica was keen to confront the guy, but her friend Thomas managed to talk her out of doing anything rash, such as starting a fight.
Erica 很憤怒。她發現有個同學在她背後說她的壞話。Erica 急著想與那個傢伙當面對質，但她的朋友 Thomas 設法說服她不要衝動行事，像是挑起紛爭。
Later that day, Erica and Thomas were strolling home from school together. They dropped by a convenience store, where the clerk was a bad-tempered young man with a deep frown on his face. Thomas greeted him politely and spoke to the young man with great courtesy as he reluctantly served them, responding with little more than a sneer. The clerk clearly wasn't in the habit of using words like "thank you" very often.
那天稍晚，Erica 和 Thomas 一起從學校走路回家。他們中途到了一家便利商店，裡面的店員是一個脾氣不好又臭著臉的年輕人。Thomas 禮貌地向他打招呼，並極客氣地與年輕人交談，他才心不甘情不願地服務他們，而且回應比不屑口吻好不了多少。店員顯然很不習慣常常使用「謝謝」這樣的話語。
After they left the store, Erica remarked how rude the clerk had been. "Oh, he's always like that," replied Thomas cheerfully.
他們離開商店後，Erica 提到店員怎麼如此粗魯。「哦，他總是那樣，」Thomas 笑嘻嘻地回答。
Erica was intrigued. "So how come you're so nice to him?" she asked. "Why should I let that guy decide how I feel?" Thomas responded.
Erica 很好奇。「那你為什麼對他那麼好？」她問。「為什麼我要讓那個人來決定我的感受？」Thomas 回答。
After reading the story, let's analyze the approaches that Erica and Thomas take to potentially unpleasant encounters. In fact, we can attach labels to these approaches. Erica was "reactive" in the way she responded to what she discovered. She allowed the news to determine her feelings and make her angry. Thomas, on the other hand, can be called "proactive" because he was in constant control of his emotions, regardless of how offensively the store clerk treated him. But being proactive or reactive is not just about responding to other people's conduct.
讀完這個故事後，讓我們分析一下 Erica 和 Thomas 在面對可能不愉快的遭遇時採用的方法。事實上，我們可以給這些方法貼上標籤。Erica 在回應自己發現的事情時採取「被動反應的」方式。她讓這個消息決定她的情緒，並且讓自己生氣。另一方面，Thomas 可以被稱為是「主動預防的」，因為他一直控制著自己的情緒，不管店員多麼無禮地對待他。但是，表現得主動預防或是被動反應不僅僅是指對其他人的行為做出回應。
For one thing, deciding to be proactive or reactive has a huge effect on how we manage our lives. It manifests itself most obviously in our attitudes to dealing with problems. A proactive person will immediately look for applicable solutions and opportunities to take back control. Someone who is reactive, by contrast, is more likely to just grumble about the problem, play the victim, or blame other people for what happened. It's not hard to imagine who has a better chance of achieving their goals.
首先，決定要主動預防或被動反應對我們管理生活的方式有著巨大的影響。這最明顯地表現在我們處理問題的態度上。主動預防的人會立即尋找合適的解決方案和奪回控制權的機會。相比之下，被動反應的人很有可能只是抱怨問題，扮演受害者，或者為了發生的事情責怪他人。不難想像誰有更好的機會實現目標。
This is not to imply that everyone in the world is either proactive or reactive all the time. In fact, it is not until we encounter a situation that we tend to respond to it. But we can often choose to be one or the other. Maybe your little brother says nasty things to you over breakfast. You go out without an umbrella and it starts pouring down. The bus to school is delayed and horribly overcrowded. You get a lower grade than you had anticipated on yesterday's math quiz. Some of these things are beyond our control, of course, and there is no harm in venting your frustration by shouting out "I'm sick of this rain!" But for the things you can influence, a proactive approach is a better option.
這並不意味著世界上的每個人都主動預防或被動反應。事實上，我們往往要遇到一個情況我們才會傾向去回應它。但我們通常都能擇其一。也許你的弟弟在早餐時對你說了些難聽話。你出門時沒有帶傘，並且開始下起傾盆大雨。上學的公車延誤，而且極其擁擠。在昨天的數學測驗中，你拿到的成績比你預料的還糟。當然，其中有些事情是我們無法控制的，而且透過大喊「我受夠這場雨了!」來發洩你的沮喪也沒有壞處。但對於你可以影響的事情，一個主動預防的方法是一個較好的選擇。
A reactive person will probably yell at their little brother and worsen the already bad atmosphere. They might be enraged by the disappointing math grade or harbor feelings of anger toward the teacher. Someone with a proactive personality will contemplate ways to improve their sibling relationships, as well as regarding the math grade as providing an opportunity for improvement. They will focus on finding solutions rather than stewing in their feelings of anger and frustration.
一個被動反應的人可能會對他們的弟弟大吼大叫，使原本已經很糟糕的氣氛變得更糟。他們可能會被令人失望的數學成績激怒，或者對老師懷有憤怒的感覺。個性主動預防的人會思索改善他們手足關係的方法，並將數學成績視為是提供一個改進的機會。他們會專注於找出解決辦法，而不是處於生氣和挫折的感覺中。
Reactive people are led by circumstances, while the behavior of proactive ones results from a conscious choice. Simply put, the key to being proactive is to be in control, rather than under it. You can allow your feelings to be influenced by what happens around you. Or you can take control of them yourself. The choice is yours.
被動反應的人被遭遇牽著走，而主動預防的人的行為則源於有意識的抉擇。簡單地說，主動預防的關鍵是保持冷靜，而不是受控。你可以讓自己的情緒被周圍發生的事情影響。或者你也可以自己控制它們。選擇權在你。
